Comments on: Engaged but not Enraged http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/01/06/engaged-but-not-enraged/ Human Animals at the Crossroads of Culture, Science, Religion and Media Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:57:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Erich Vieth http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/01/06/engaged-but-not-enraged/#comment-15624 Erich Vieth Tue, 08 Jan 2008 05:00:22 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/?p=2005#comment-15624 Lisa: You put it so well: "Staying calmly present and rooted in the moment, as I try to foster real, engaged discussion with even those who disagree with me." Really, truly. There is no real alternative for those who seek peace and understanding. To lose that calmness and to get heated about an argument will cause an equal and opposite reaction to develop in the mind of those with whom one is talking. Then the two of you will have an argument rather than a discussion. Then you'll have suspicions flaring up then calcifying into extreme positions; both sides will start insisting on the certainty of things they don't really know. In my experience, once we let things get out of hand like this, it takes a long time for the thaw to have another opportunity to do what should have been done the first time. How do we avoid untoward results when discussion emotion-laden topics with people who are aggressive and willfully ignorant? Yes, it is important to stay calm and lucid. It also requires bucketloads of patience. More than I sometimes have. Welcome to the blog. Great job. Lisa: You put it so well: “Staying calmly present and rooted in the moment, as I try to foster real, engaged discussion with even those who disagree with me.”

Really, truly. There is no real alternative for those who seek peace and understanding. To lose that calmness and to get heated about an argument will cause an equal and opposite reaction to develop in the mind of those with whom one is talking. Then the two of you will have an argument rather than a discussion. Then you’ll have suspicions flaring up then calcifying into extreme positions; both sides will start insisting on the certainty of things they don’t really know.

In my experience, once we let things get out of hand like this, it takes a long time for the thaw to have another opportunity to do what should have been done the first time.

How do we avoid untoward results when discussion emotion-laden topics with people who are aggressive and willfully ignorant? Yes, it is important to stay calm and lucid. It also requires bucketloads of patience. More than I sometimes have.

Welcome to the blog. Great job.

]]> By: Ben http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/01/06/engaged-but-not-enraged/#comment-15614 Ben Mon, 07 Jan 2008 19:00:24 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/?p=2005#comment-15614 When I feel insulted, wronged, or put-upon (whether the person means it or not), my typical response is to go on the offensive. While this feels like a perfectly natural response, it may not always provide the desired result. There are situations (such as in an office setting or at a party) in which it is better to just "laugh it off". When I feel insulted, wronged, or put-upon (whether the person means it or not), my typical response is to go on the offensive. While this feels like a perfectly natural response, it may not always provide the desired result. There are situations (such as in an office setting or at a party) in which it is better to just “laugh it off”.

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