George W. Bush Pest Control Company

September 28, 2007 | By | 2 Replies More

Last week, I saw a pest control company truck drive by.  The name of the company was “Bush Pest Control Company.” 

Now I don’t know anything about this company.  It might be very good at getting rid of pests.  But the name of the company caused me to imagine how that company would be run were George W. Bush were in charge.

A customer would call up complaining of mice.   The next day a squadron of fighter jets would roar overhead, dropping 500 pound bombs onto the house, leaving a huge charred crater-ridden hole where the house used to be.  The neighbor’s homes would be burned to the ground too. A tank would roll up and pump a few artillery shells into the smoldering remains for good measure.

A leaflet would then be left in what used to be the front yard, right next to a few half-melted remains of toys and a few scraps of clothing:  “We have taken care of the pests.  Glad to be of service. Couldn’t help the collateral damage. God be praised.” 

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Category: Politics

About the Author ()

Erich Vieth is an attorney focusing on consumer law litigation and appellate practice. He is also a working musician and a writer, having founded Dangerous Intersection in 2006. Erich lives in the Shaw Neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri, where he lives half-time with his two extraordinary daughters.

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  1. Edgar Montrose says:

    The customer's house would be damaged but not destroyed in the first wave of the attack, and the mice would remain. Then the weapons would be retargeted to another house a block away, which would be anihilated as you describe. The excuse would be that the owner of the latter house was making mass quantities of cheese, which would never be found. Later the story would be changed to claims that the house was destroyed to support urban renewal in the region. Later still, as wildlife naturally found its way into the rubble, the excuse would change yet again to be that the house was destroyed because it had been a breeding ground for such "vermin".

  2. Jay Fraz says:

    After the house was destroyed, the owner would then be forced to repay the damages by remortgaging the property.

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