Are you rapture savvy?

September 6, 2007 | By | 4 Replies More

I’ve just checked in with the Rapture Index, just in case. According to this site, the rapture

is an event that will take place sometime in the near future. Jesus will come in the air, catch up the Church from the earth, and then return to Heaven with the Church. In 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, we are given a clear description of the rapture: “the dead in Christ will rise, then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord.”

The “Index” is now at 159, just short of the 160-mark Rapture Index characterizes as “fasten your seat belt.”  Really, it’s almost time . . . 

What does this mean?  I would think it would mean to spend down your savings and run up your credit cards, since money will soon not matter.   But, alas, it’s not that simple, according to Wikipedia.  Similarly, the Rapture Index presents lots of important Rapture-related information all in one handy place: the Rapture Index FAQ.

All angels have penises.

Beware of perfect red cows in Israel. 

Not everyone who gets to heaven gets the same reward.  Some people are treated extra special in heaven.

The antichrist might be a homosexual. 

Women shouldn’t work outside of the home.  Nor do they have a place as a church leader. 

Spanking is acceptable.

There is not any such thing as dog heaven for your dog.  Get over it.  After all, there’s not enough room in heaven for all of those dead dogs. 

The Bible does not require us to be vegetarians.

What are demons?  The site offers this strange response:  “Thankfully, the Bible does not devote a whole lot of time to discussing demons and their activity, but we can trace their origin.”

It’s OK to be rich. 

The Rapture Index will try to remain online after the Rapture. 



Category: Religion

About the Author ()

Erich Vieth is an attorney focusing on consumer law litigation and appellate practice. He is also a working musician and a writer, having founded Dangerous Intersection in 2006. Erich lives in the Shaw Neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri, where he lives half-time with his two extraordinary daughters.

Comments (4)

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  1. Dan Klarmann says:

    I enjoyed the admonition headed: "Do Not Trust Christian Leaders" in, a message to post Rapture survivors.

  2. Vicki Baker says:

    "The rapture is not an exit strategy"

    Saw that one on a bumper sticker just the other day.

  3. grumpypilgrim says:

    Folks who expect Jesus to appear any day now just amaze me. The Second Coming of Christ has been predicted dozens, if not hundreds, of times, all without consequence. One memorable example is the Great Disappointment of 1844.

    Perhaps one benefit of religion is that it attracts so many foolish people, so the rest of us don't have to bother with them. Not to say all religious people are foolish, but the percentage of believers who believe nonsense certainly seems higher than for the general population.

  4. Erich Vieth says:

    This guy stepped up and admitted that he was wrong when he stated that the rapture would happen in 2007. There's always next year . . .

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