Humorous proofs for the existence of God

September 5, 2006 | By | 5 Replies More

I know that many of you are philosophically running on empty.  You’ve already dabbled with all of the traditional so-called proofs for the existence of God.  You crave more proofs and it’s got you down. 

Well, cheer up!  I have the site for you!

Exchristian.net has 300 (did someone say 300?) “Over Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence”!  So get ready to dig in.  Here are some of my favorites:

COSMOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) If I say something must have a cause, it has a cause.
(2) I say the universe must have a cause.
(3) Therefore, the universe has a cause.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

MORAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) Person X, a well-known atheist, was morally inferior to the rest of us.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

MORAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM FEAR
(1) If there is no God then we’re all going to die.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM FALLIBILITY
(1) Human reasoning is inherently flawed.
(2) Therefore, there is no reasonable way to challenge a proposition.
(3) I propose that God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM POSSIBLE WORLDS
(1) If things had been different, then things would be different.
(2) That would be bad.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
(1) God loves you.
(2) How could you be so heartless to not believe in him?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL HISTORY
(1) Many modern historians think that there probably was somebody named Jesus, maybe.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

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Category: Humor, Meaning of Life, Religion

About the Author ()

Erich Vieth is an attorney focusing on consumer law litigation and appellate practice. He is also a working musician and a writer, having founded Dangerous Intersection in 2006. Erich lives in the Shaw Neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri, where he lives half-time with his two extraordinary daughters.

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  1. Reviewing the Proofs for the existence of God. | Dangerous Intersection | December 1, 2009
  1. Jennifer says:

    I like this one:

    DORE'S ARGUMENT

    (1) I forgot to take my meds.

    (2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!

    (3) Therefore, God exists.

  2. Martin says:

    The Proof From Lack of Proof

    1) There is no proof that god exists.

    2) Therefore, believers can not prove that god exists.

    3) But this is only because he wants believers to believe, not to know.

    4) Therefore god exists.

  3. Erich Vieth says:

    Ok, I'll take a shot:

    1) I'm bored and I feel my life is pointless.

    2) It would be awful if life was really pointless.

    3) Therefore, God exists.

  4. Erich Vieth says:

    Here's yet more humorous proofs for the existence of God, from http://www.neuralgourmet.com/node/762 My favorites:

    ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY

    (1) Eric Clapton is God.

    (2) Therefore, God exists.

    ARGUMENT FROM POST-DEATH EXPERIENCE

    (1) Person X died an Atheist.

    (2) He now realizes his mistake.

    (3) Therefore, God exists.

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