Comments on: On Asking a Very Smart God to Change His Ways http://dangerousintersection.org/2006/03/31/on-asking-a-very-very-smart-god-to-change-his-ways/ Human Animals at the Crossroads of Culture, Science, Religion and Media Tue, 06 Jan 2009 13:55:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: grumpypilgrim http://dangerousintersection.org/2006/03/31/on-asking-a-very-very-smart-god-to-change-his-ways/#comment-229 grumpypilgrim Sun, 21 May 2006 05:32:59 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/?p=56#comment-229 There was a guy on one of the religious TV channels recently who was talking about how he was shoeing a horse one day and didn't want the horse to swish its tail in the guy's face. So the guy said he "prayed to God that that horse would not swish its tail in my face...." I thought, "Huh? Did I hear that right? This guy's praying to God about being swished in the face by a horsetail? What's next? Praying to God that your shoelaces don't come untied? I just picture God thinking to Himself, "Things sure were good at the beginning. My first week on the job, I got to create the Universe, create the planet Earth, and create a bunch of interesting new life forms. Now, I spend my day dealing with horses' asses." No WONDER God wants to fill heaven with humans: he needs lackeys to delegate His scut work to, so He can go back to thinking about the Big Picture. There was a guy on one of the religious TV channels recently who was talking about how he was shoeing a horse one day and didn’t want the horse to swish its tail in the guy’s face. So the guy said he “prayed to God that that horse would not swish its tail in my face….” I thought, “Huh? Did I hear that right? This guy’s praying to God about being swished in the face by a horsetail? What’s next? Praying to God that your shoelaces don’t come untied? I just picture God thinking to Himself, “Things sure were good at the beginning. My first week on the job, I got to create the Universe, create the planet Earth, and create a bunch of interesting new life forms. Now, I spend my day dealing with horses’ asses.”

No WONDER God wants to fill heaven with humans: he needs lackeys to delegate His scut work to, so He can go back to thinking about the Big Picture.

]]> By: Erich Vieth http://dangerousintersection.org/2006/03/31/on-asking-a-very-very-smart-god-to-change-his-ways/#comment-17 Erich Vieth Sun, 02 Apr 2006 15:19:52 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/?p=56#comment-17 After posting this, I received the following comment from a fellow I'll call "Om-Tay," who reminds me in a pig-latinish way of one of my friends: e: let me try to help you out here. we don't really KNOW that God is all knowing and all powerful. all we REALLY know is that God (assuming there is One) is either: All knowing and not all powerful, or all powerful but not all knowing, or neither all powerful nor all knowing, or all powerful and all knowing. thus there is really only a 25% shot at being right when "they" say God is all knowing and all powerful. so why does just about everybody say God IS all powerful and all knowing? the answer to this question will help you understand how come just about everybody prays. let's just assume for a moment that God is a regular guy, just like you and me. in fact, let's say God IS you, and let's say I am me. now, remember, i don't really KNOW if you are all powerful and all knowing, neither, or just one of the two (see above). the reason I don't know that is because I'm not God, because You are. ok? but let's say i have a problem. my stock portfolio is heading south and i REALLY want it to go up. Or I am going on a ski trip and I REALLY want it to snow. Or i noticed a little lesion on my nose and I sure as hell hope it isn't melanoma. You name it but I am talking something that happens to be very IMPORTANT to me. and all i know is that you are God. and lots of people are praying to you, even the Pope. so here's the deal: 1. If you (or should I say "You?") are all powerful but not all knowing, prayer MIGHT help becasuse otherwise you won't have any way of knowing of my problem. 2. if You are all powerful and all knowing, you already know my deal so prayer won't hurt, and might even help call your particular attnetion to my issue. 3. if you are all knowing but not powerful at all, i am merely wasting my time praying, but nothing ventured nothing gained. 4. if you are neither all powerful nor all knowing, same as 3 above. so you see that in three of the four possibilities, it is mostly a waste of time to pray. (most people have a lot of time on their hands anyway, or can multi-task and pray while they are shopping on line or whatever.) but what about that fourth possibility? what if you ARE all powerful but not all knowing? then the reason that in my prayers I will tell you i KNOW you are all powerful AND all knowing is because I know there are lots and lots of people out there praying to you, trying to get your attention. I want to flatter you and get in your good graces so you will ANSWER my prayers. And since I know everybody else is telling you nice things, such as that you are all knowing and all powerful, I pretty much HAVE to go along with the crowd in order not to piss you off because remember, you are just a regular guy like you and me and regular guys do get pissed off. and if I piss you off it may not snow and my ski trip will be ruined. so, now do you get it? -- [Here's the rest of this exchange, which occured via email]: "Om-Tay: This is clever and . . . possibly . . . true. You even anticipated my response: I was going to draft an honest and straightforward prayer ("Dear God, You who are so powerful and You who have such potential and you give such effort at trying to understand things, please take some Ritalin, try to focus, and hear my prayer . . ."). Or maybe: "Dear God. With your great powers and my brains we could really go far. Are you in?" Would you consider posting your email as a comment or allowing me to do so? I really enjoyed this concept of a God whose Reach is greater than his Grasp. Kinda like a Superman God. The opposite of Batman (who was brilliant but couldn't fly or knock down walls). You'd better hope that that all-powerful but D+ student God of yours never gets tipped off as to your Machiavellian method of praying. e -- "You'd better hope that that all-powerful but D+ student God of yours never gets tipped off as to your Machiavellian method of praying." that is EXACTLY why I didnt post it. you can do so, without my name, if you wish. After posting this, I received the following comment from a fellow I’ll call “Om-Tay,” who reminds me in a pig-latinish way of one of my friends:

e:

let me try to help you out here.

we don’t really KNOW that God is all knowing and all powerful. all we REALLY know is that God (assuming there is One) is either:

All knowing and not all powerful, or
all powerful but not all knowing, or
neither all powerful nor all knowing, or
all powerful and all knowing.

thus there is really only a 25% shot at being right when “they” say God is all knowing and all powerful.

so why does just about everybody say God IS all powerful and all knowing? the answer to this question will help you understand how come just about everybody prays.

let’s just assume for a moment that God is a regular guy, just like you and me. in fact, let’s say God IS you, and let’s say I am me. now, remember, i don’t really KNOW if you are all powerful and all knowing, neither, or just one of the two (see above). the reason I don’t know that is because I’m not God, because You are.

ok? but let’s say i have a problem. my stock portfolio is heading south and i REALLY want it to go up. Or I am going on a ski trip and I REALLY want it to snow. Or i noticed a little lesion on my nose and I sure as hell hope it isn’t melanoma. You name it but I am talking something that happens to be very IMPORTANT to me.

and all i know is that you are God. and lots of people are praying to you, even the Pope. so here’s the deal:

1. If you (or should I say “You?”) are all powerful but not all knowing, prayer MIGHT help becasuse otherwise you won’t have any way of knowing of my problem.

2. if You are all powerful and all knowing, you already know my deal so prayer won’t hurt, and might even help call your particular attnetion to my issue.

3. if you are all knowing but not powerful at all, i am merely wasting my time praying, but nothing ventured nothing gained.

4. if you are neither all powerful nor all knowing, same as 3 above.

so you see that in three of the four possibilities, it is mostly a waste of time to pray. (most people have a lot of time on their hands anyway, or can multi-task and pray while they are shopping on line or whatever.) but what about that fourth possibility? what if you ARE all powerful but not all knowing? then the reason that in my prayers I will tell you i KNOW you are all powerful AND all knowing is because I know there are lots and lots of people out there praying to you, trying to get your attention. I want to flatter you and get in your good graces so you will ANSWER my prayers. And since I know everybody else is telling you nice things, such as that you are all knowing and all powerful, I pretty much HAVE to go along with the crowd in order not to piss you off because remember, you are just a regular guy like you and me and regular guys do get pissed off. and if I piss you off it may not snow and my ski trip will be ruined.

so, now do you get it?

–

[Here's the rest of this exchange, which occured via email]:

“Om-Tay:

This is clever and . . . possibly . . . true.

You even anticipated my response: I was going to draft an honest and straightforward prayer (”Dear God, You who are so powerful and You who have such potential and you give such effort at trying to understand things, please take some Ritalin, try to focus, and hear my prayer . . .”). Or maybe: “Dear God. With your great powers and my brains we could really go far. Are you in?”

Would you consider posting your email as a comment or allowing me to do so? I really enjoyed this concept of a God whose Reach is greater than his Grasp. Kinda like a Superman God. The opposite of Batman (who was brilliant but couldn’t fly or knock down walls).

You’d better hope that that all-powerful but D+ student God of yours never gets tipped off as to your Machiavellian method of praying.

e

–

“You’d better hope that that all-powerful but D+ student God of yours never gets tipped off as to your Machiavellian method of praying.”

that is EXACTLY why I didnt post it. you can do so, without my name, if you wish.

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